The Fuck Buddy: Healthy or Harmful?
In these modern times, fuck buddies have come to serve a spectacular void in the space between one night stands and long term relationships. Really it all depends on how you use them, and use them we do. We use them to get off, use them to take our minds off someone else, use them to pass the time: they're pretty handy when it comes to quick fixes. FB relationships can go on for years with varying levels of frequencies, and yet few seem to evolve into anything more (which in most cases is exactly the point). However, they do tend to reach a breaking point of some kind. Whether it's disinterest from one party or too much interest from another party, they really aren't that different from actual dating.
The tricky part is knowing how to navigate the often blurred lines of fuck buddyship and make sure you come away from it unscathed. Here are some of the more common signifiers of both healthy and harmful fuck buddy situations:
- You can text him and he can call you without any worry of rejection. You may not be available some nights but at least he'll know there'll be a raincheck.
- You both know exactly what you've signed up for. Whether that's just sex or sex with intent to cuddle, both of you know what's about to go down when you get the call.
- Your feelings are kept in check al all times, and even though he may send flirtatious text messages the day after, you know that's it's simply a way of saying we're still on for next month's session.
- In this fuck buddy situation, you're both getting what you need and you leave each other mutually satisfied.
- You both know when the fucking has run it's course and more importantly, you let your buddy know that you've met someone and can't fool around anymore.
- Finally, a solid fuck buddy relationship is one that can be picked up at any moment no matter the time that's passed in between.
- You rush right over when you get a 3 AM text to come over and fuck, and he doesn't respond when you ask him the do the same. At a decent hour no less.
- You try to make the fuck buddy session more than it is by trying to include something date-like to the night, like dinner or a movie or giving him your grandfather's pocket watch.
- You start to develop feelings for your buddy. Or vice versa and you continue on as if he doesn't.
- Your buddy gets off, but you do not.
- You get jealous if you see him out with another guy.
- You use the fuck buddy relationship as crutch to avoid building meaningful relationships.
- You leave a date to have sex with your FB.
As with any relationship, there tends to be a lot of gray, which is why it's important to set expectations up early and make sure you're satisfied with what you're getting from your fuck buddy. At the end of the day, any relationship is about reciprocated respect.
Got any other tips on telling the difference between healthy and harmful? Chime in below.