Men all over the world sooner or later confront notions of what it means to be a ”real man” and inevitably compare themselves to some ideal(s) constructed by the societies in which they live. Although different societies sometimes hold up seemingly contradictory ideals of manhood, Mahatma Gandhi in India versus Rambo in the United States, to cite extreme examples, we tend to accept our own society's ideal as normal unless our understanding gets broadened by exposure to other ideals that seem to resonate better with our inner experience.

Gay men everywhere tend to find ourselves excluded to one degree or another from inclusion in the category of “real men” because of our same-sex attraction and because many societies view gay men as effeminate (like a woman).  For a man to be like a woman means he is not, in some sense, fully a real man.

The late Harry Hay, arguably the father of gay liberation, inspired by examples of “third-gender” or “two-spirit” concepts he encountered in some Native American cultures, developed a theory of gay identity apart from the prevailing notions of male versus female prevalent in non-gay society. Hay believed that most gay men learn to imitate gender-polarized, heterosexual norms of male/female as a way to survive in homophobic societies and that this imitation distorts their authentic gay identities. He theorized that if gay men could get away from heterosexuals completely, preferably in natural settings, their authentic gay natures would manifest with a little encouragement.  The Radical Faerie movement came into being to test and develop Hay's theories.

Hay broke down the different ways of being as “subject-object consciousness” (heterosexual) vs. “subject-subject consciousness,” (homosexual).

Ahhh, the holidays.  They bring out the best in most of us -- we smile a little more brightly and trick a little more lightly.  But when it comes to finding that perfect gift for your Daddy or Hunter, the grinch in many of us often comes uninvited to the party, much like your brother-in-law's best friend, who still thinks wedgies are funny and show how "cool" he is with your being gay.

Lucky for you, we present here the first ever DaddyHunt Holiday Shopping Guide.  Here are a few of our favorite gift ideas for the season.  For more great book, CD and movie ideas check out the DaddyHunt Gift Page here!

If you're looking for erotic art that will really turn your crank but is also produced by a first-rate artist, check out the sexy, beefy, hairy men drawn by Burbank artist Minoru. Print prices are generally $20 to $40 and originals also can be purchased.  Check it out at artbyminoru.

After checking out that erotic art, you may want to dress your daddy or hunter in this masculine racing jacket ($224.95) and have him do a little posing for you in the privacy of your own home.  You can see more great gifts like this at The Complete Bear.

her•ma [hur-muh] n. pl. herms also her•mai
A rectangular, often tapering stone post bearing a carved head or bust, used as a boundary marker or for decorative purposes. Male genitals may also be carved at the appropriate height. This form was originated in ancient Greece, was then adopted by the Romans and brought back into fashion in the Renaissance.

To put that in more simple terms, a herma is a statue that features just the head and the cock-- nothing else but a rectangular stone holding them up. You'll have to forgive my phallocentric appreciation of the antiquities, but there's just not enough phallic worship these days (at least publicly). Which is why I think we should start a movement to bring back the herma.

Hermai (plural of herma) are associated with the god Hermes:

"Hermes is the messenger of the gods in Greek mythology. An Olympian god, he is also the patron of boundaries and of the travelers who cross them, of shepherds and cowherds, of road travelers, of orators and wit, of literature and poets, of athletics, of weights and measures, of invention, and of general commerce."

Sexy young stud James Franco, one of the stars of "MILK", talks to Letterman about kissing Sean Penn then plants one on Dave.

As if we needed more evidence of the power and wisdom that comes with age, 55-year-old gay poet Mark Doty has just won the 2008 National Book Award for Poetry for his collection, Fire to Fire: New and Selected Poems.

The poems in the book represent more than 20 years worth of work but in an interview about his win, Doty said it was only at this stage in his life as a mature man that he could critically put this collection together. "When I started out I did what most young poets do -- take all the poems I'd written that I could stand and put them in my first book. But more and more it's a matter of building relationships between poems, and the way that new poems get made is out of the suggestions and possibilities of what I've already done."

Sounds like a a good daddy approach to life, and one that we appreciate here at Daddyhunt.

Check out Doty's website here to learn more about him and read some of his poetry.  Doty is the author of several collections of poetry and non-fiction books.  He lives in New York City and Houston, Tx.

Photo © Star Black

My husband and I had the great luck to get tickets to the premiere of the film “MILK” at a packed Castro Theater last month. The film is directed by Gus Van Sant, stars Sean Penn (as Harvey Milk) and was produced by Focus Features (producers of “Brokeback Mountain”) so we went in thinking that it wasn’t going to be a waste of two hours… and we were right.

The film chronicles the story of Harvey Milk who was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977, becoming the first openly gay man elected to public office in America. Milk was murdered by Dan White in 1978.

The film focuses on the last eight years of Harvey’s life. It opens with with Milk picking up Scott Smith (James Franco), the man who would become his partner. It is the eve of Milk’s 40th birthday and he is living in New York. Shortly thereafter Milk and Smith relocate to San Francisco where Harvey begins his journey as a neighborhood activist and ultimately the first gay politician.

I felt like I went into the film knowing a lot about Harvey Milk. I had seen “The Times of Harvey Milk” and countless other documentaries about the gay movement that included his story, but I’ve never seen a movie with such an intimate and heartfelt look into his life.