As Pride month comes on once again this year, I think it’s easy to question its necessity when it is easier than ever to be out and proud here in the States and across the globe. But of course, there is still a long road ahead of us, and that fact becomes painfully evident in light of the latest anti-gay crusader to actually come out as being like, totally gay; Family Research Council co-founder, (now ex)N.A.R.T.H. member, and “ex-gay” movement player George Alan Rekers. Rekers just got caught taking a rentboy on vacation with him for help with luggage... and sexual massages. The fact that this guy has spent his life fighting gay rights, gay adoption (in which he got paid big $$ from the tax payers in Florida for his bogus testimony) as well as working to promote the notion that homosexuality can be “cured” is running around with a male prostitute, it’s clear we have a case of serious mind-bending self-hate.
It’s been often noted that those that seem a little too obsessed with hating gays often are just fighting feelings that they have and can’t deal with based on what they have been taught in their lives. And, it’s no secret that religion is the biggest proponent of homophobia, and it’s shown, time and time again, just how messed up and hindering the conflicting feelings of wanting something that you have been told is the worst possible thing you could do can be. But there is a school of thought that puts faith above all else in life, and that cause and effect brews such an awful stew of unhappiness with those born gay and in a religion that abhors it, it’s a wonder that year after year we don’t put the brakes on and say... this just doesn’t work. At all. (Rekers is a Southern Baptist Reverend, he didn’t have a chance.)
I was very lucky to grow up with parents that constantly praised me, set me up with a strong sense of self, and didn’t force me into a religious lifestyle that I never connected with. While they were not initially, let’s say thrilled, with the idea of me being gay, time, meeting my friends and boyfriend, and the change in social acceptance has brought them up to the point that they might even be happy that I’m exactly as I am. No strings. Talk about a serious rung in the ladder of my own personal pride!
But despite my personal (non)relationship with organized religion, it is not impossible to live a life of faith and be gay, happy, and true to God, whomever that may be. I’ve seen much good happen from people that have discovered faith that may have lost their way in life and it’s important to recognize that. The foundations of most religions are very very positive, lessons on how to be, how to treat one another, etc. but the sticky part comes when you have opposing gospels that say different things about how we were created, and how we should be. It’s an age-old conflict that has set up the entire human race for failure, because it’s somehow impossible to let an opposing viewpoint co-exist.
I once saw a bumper sticker that read, “If God hates homosexuals, he wouldn’t have made any.” There is so much truth in that, no matter what you believe. Maybe I’m just more inclined to think that the earth is a big beautiful place and that we, the humans that inhabit it, are here to live and laugh and create art and music and things that fill us with happiness and hope that anything is possible... and to learn things about ourselves
through our differences. It might be crazy Pollyanna to think so, but if the alternative is that we are to live in constant fear of an unseen force that imposes doom onto our acting on feelings that hurt no one... well that’s some bullshit to me. It just doesn’t make any sense. And given the history of the human race... it’s clear it DOESN’T WORK.
And isn’t the religious notion that ‘this is what I (have been taught to) believe to be true and therefore you also need to follow along the same exact path of choices’ the epitome of arrogance? I mean, just because you like sushi and I don’t shouldn’t mean that I cannot get married... or that I can be fired from a job for not liking sushi. Or even serve in the military because I can’t stomach a California Roll. It sounds ridiculous, but in essence... you’re love of sushi is really all about YOU. Not me. I’m totally cool with your liking sushi... go crazy, just don’t force it down my throat. (sound familiar?) But it seems that it’s a basic human trait to get confused, angry, and lash out when someone exuded a behavior or interest we don’t. “Wait, you don’t feel exactly the way I do on everything? I need to dismiss you and then breed hate and violence toward you because I don’t understand that!” Well, you can take that raw bit of hate and ignorance, roll it up in rice, and shove it up your ass. Check please.
It seems crazy to me that while on one hand you have religions that teach that same-sex attraction and homo-sex is an ungodly abomination with, on the other hand, people being born through the ages with these feelings and not realizing how that effects all of us. Would Catholic priests that are born gay, been taught all their life that that is some kind of f-you to God, still molest young boys if they had known gay was totally okay and were able to grow into their sexuality like everyone else? Would guys like George Rekers, Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, and Larry Craig spend their entire life’s work to make the public hate gay people if they knew it was okay in the eyes of God? My guess is not. I don’t equate my absence of faith with being a happy, well-adjusted gay... that would be foolish. But given the still alive official stance on homosexuality that the Catholic Church and many organized religions have, it certainly didn’t hurt...
I’m of course not the first person, or the last, that will put this two and two together. And yet as old as the human race is, we’re STILL debating this, and hating on ourselves for it. And while things are quickly changing here in the states, American evangelicals are spending their time teaching hate in Africa in the hopes to make that continent so homophobic that they believe in death, (DEATH!) to the gays. It is so important, as homosexuals, to come to the conclusion that the way we ARE has nothing to do with the struggle between Heaven and Hell. We have to love ourselves, without question, no matter what we’ve been taught. It’s the essence of pride, and a reminder that it is still needed year after year
Love yourself. Love your God. And love one another, despite the differences because hate is TAUGHT, it doesn’t come naturally. Happy Pride.