Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

RobHeartsDH
June 10, 2014
Category: Sexuality
How to Bottom Like a Porn Star

Our own MISTER Carl was recently on The Jolt with Larry Flick discussing the fears many men have around bottoming. From having too loose of an anus to hemorrhoids they talked through it all to set everyone's minds and asses at ease. He also mentioned Woody Miller's book How To Bottom Like A Porn Star which provides lots of tips and tricks. Let's be honest, we've all wondered how porn stars do it with such ease. The top sticks it in like a glute inject and the bottom hardly flinches. Porn stars perform some of the most painful sex acts ever seen without so much as blinking. How do they do it? And more importantly, is it something the rest of us can learn?

Gay sex columnist Woody Miller teamed up with a colorectal specialist and an urologist to find out. They interviewed some of the biggest names in the gay porn industry – – performers, directors and producers to produce a book that combines porn industry secrets with innovative techniques from the latest gay male sex research.

The result is a fascinating, behind-the-scenes, no-holds-barred look into the gay porn industry and the secrets they use to get performers to bottom without pain or messy scenes. In How To Bottom Like A Porn Star. The Guide To Gay Anal Sex the author, along with his team, use the research as a launching point to introduce effective ways to bottoming without pain, including “The Sexhalation Method,” which combines systematic desensitization, pattern breathing,...

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RobHeartsDH
March 24, 2014
Category: Wellness

As I enter a new decade of my life, I've been reflecting a lot of what I've learned in my 20s. On the one hand, it makes sense that I've learned lesson, grown, and matured into a stronger man. But it actually wasn't until I was speaking with an intern who was just entering his 20s that I realized just how much knowledge I had accumulated and could pass along. Which got me thinking what an incredible resource we all our for each other when it comes to life lessons being shared. Of course it's a much easier to learn when you've experienced something first hand, but a little empathy along the way can make you feel less alone during those tougher times. Which is why I thought it'd be a fun little crowd-sourcing experiment to compile all our our collective wisdom into one post. I want each and every one of you out there to tell us a defining lesson of each decade you've lived starting with your 20s. So for example if you're 62 you'd have a lesson from your 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s for us. Feel free to list one from each or a select few, just as long as you contribute.

With enough submission, I'll take the very best of the lessons and cull them down into one post. There's so much we can learn from one another and many benefits that we can pass along from our mistakes, experiences, and interactions.

Bonus points for listing which decade you learned the most in.

RobHeartsDH
March 6, 2014
Category: Gay Culture
MISTER Carl Sandler HuffPost Live

Is there a difference between a midlife crisis and a gay midlife crisis? That's the question they're asking over at HuffPost Live with our very own CEO Carl Sandler, Marcie Blanco, and Steven Petrow who wrote the book Complete Gay Manners weighing in on the discussion. Watch the video below and see where you stand on the subject:

While I can't claim to be midlife just yet, from my perspective I've seen more gay men come into their own at 40 and beyond and really own who are they are. They seem to get better looking, confident, and just generally more in touch with themselves and the world. Maybe in the straight world getting in better shape and taking better care of yourself causes an alarm of sorts to go off, but seems like par for the course in our community. If anything, I admire the qualities normally associated with a midlife crisis which essentially is trying something new and revamping your life as you fit later in the game.

Have you or someone you know experienced a gay (or plain ol') midlife crisis? If so, tell us how it went down and if you think it's different for gays vs. straights in the comments below.

RobHeartsDH
February 17, 2014
Category: Sexuality

Not to be a downer, but more and more I feel like open relationships are an inevitability. I've let go of the dream of soul mates and falling in love forever, but I think I may need to let go of the dream of monogamy too. It's not that it can't happen, but it just doesn't seem like we're programmed that way. It'll take some recalibrating on my generations part, but maybe it'll be easier if it's taught at a younger age. There certainly would be less disappointment. I guess I've always been curious about sexuality from a primal perspective. What are our natural instincts? What are we internally programmed to want and do? When you remove societal pressures and norms, were we really ever supposed to mate for life?

It's not a lot, but this video at least debunks the theory that much of the animal kingdom mates for life and that it's not just a human thing to do:

Animals aside, what are your thoughts on monogamy? Do you think it's possible to be monogamous and still be satisfied? Let us know in the comments below.

RobHeartsDH
February 14, 2014
Category: Dating

Remember when you were in grade school and had to make a Valentine for every member of your class out of construction paper? Or if you're on the Hunter side of things, maybe you had some store bought Ninja Turtle Valentine's to give away (shell puns and all). Either way, what a treat it was to receive a Valentine from someone. Personally, I prefer the old school method of cutting out hearts and creating a Valentine from scratch. The point is whether your single, single-ish, dating, or married today is a day to share some love. Sure, it's a commercialized holiday and love should be shared everyday, but all too often we find ourselves too busy to stop and appreciate those around us (romantic or otherwise). So this weekend, let's all make it a point to send some love to a daddy you admire, a friend, a family member, or even a stranger.

Remember, Cupid has got a big load today and wants to shoot all over your chest (because that's where your heart is). So let today be the day that you message someone on Daddyhunt and see what happens. Who knows by this time next year, he could be your full-time Valentine.

Let us know in the comments below your very best Valentine's Day experience or gift.

Now get with the love sending and let us know what happens!

Official Daddyhunt
February 11, 2014
Category: Gay Culture

One of the great things about being a gay daddy is having the ability to throw down some knowledge at a moment’s notice and show those younger guys a thing or two about the power of experience. Things like telling a great story about a memorable moment in history, or offering words of relationship wisdom to someone who hasn’t lived long enough to have been around the block a few times. But by far one of our favorite things is teaching the twink set some tricks that are a bit more practical: like how to tie a tie, for instance. It’s a skill every good daddy should know! Brush up on your tying technique with the help of these helpful videos, featuring all kinds of classic knots as well as a few we’ve never seen before. (Bonus: they work just as well on a bedpost as they do around your neck!)

Have any good tips of your own? School us in the comments section!

1. The Eldredge Knot

2. The Trinity Knot

3. The Cape Knot

4. The Four-In-Hand Knot 

5. The Merovingian...

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Official MISTER
February 4, 2014
Category: Gay Culture

If you’re a football fanatic (or just like watching beefy athletes in Spandex pat each other on the butt), chances are things got a little rowdy in your living room as you watched the Seattle Seahawks take on the Denver Broncos in this year’s Super Bowl. But no matter how raucous the hooting and hollering got over bad calls, botched plays, and, of course, those crazy commercials, it still paled in comparison to the uproar that was heard from football fans back in 1975, when retired gridiron great David Kopay told a newspaper reporter something no other professional athlete had ever said before: “I’m gay.”

The pigskin hit the fan. Back then, the idea that a macho, muscled football hero who was named an All-American running back and had played for five NFL teams, including Vince Lombardi’s legendary Washington Redskins lineup, was unthinkable. Outraged fans flooded the newspaper that published the story with hate mail, Kopay’s post-retirement football opportunities evaporated overnight, and his former coaches and teammates all but abandoned him.

But the deafening reaction to Kopay’s historic coming-out confession was about to get even louder. In 1975, he published his groundbreaking autobiography, The David Kopay Story: An Extraordinary Self-Revelation, a warts-and-all account of an athlete...

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RobHeartsDH
January 27, 2014
Category: The Arts

The Advocate has been doing a great job with showcasing some incredible artistic talents in the LGBT community as of late, including one of my favorite's John Arsenault. Recently though they featured photographer Vincent Keith's work from his online magazine Mascular and it's a photo series that I think you'll all enjoy. The series features portraits of men with a real honesty in the way they're shot. You can see more of the series here

Keith says:

'Portraitists tend to fall into two categories, those trying to reveal what is hidden and those who try to highlight what is there. I fall into the latter category. I think everything about a character is there to see — plainly. It's just knowing how to look. My objective in taking a portrait is not to 'get behind the veneer' — I question if that is indeed possible or desirable. Do we really see 'truth'? Most people I photograph have no idea what they look like. When you picture yourself in your mind, do you look like the person in the mirror? I certainly don't. A good portrait is a beautiful thing. This may be why I find portraiture the most rewarding area of photography.'"

What artists or photographers not the scene have you been enjoying? Let us know in the comments below.

Official Daddyhunt
January 22, 2014
Category: Entertainment

After months of anticipation, HBO’s new series “Looking” premiered this past Sunday. Reaction so far appears mixed at best, with gays either loving its “honest and realistic” portrayal of a group of twenty- and thirty- something, single gay men in San Francisco, or finding its merry band of rainbow boys and their “gay people problems” unrelatable, clichéd, and (perhaps worst of all for an HBO show) boring.

Show creators Andrew Haigh and Michael Lannan get some things right (more on that later), but just as many things wrong. Like, really wrong. Asking someone if they’re “drug- and disease-free” is, strictly Grindr-speak and unrealistic for an in-person conversation. I’m also sure all the hot, BART-riding Latino guys that have picked me up over the years knew not only how to pronounce the word “oncology” without difficulty but also knew what it meant. Cancer and oncologia are not just white-girl problems.

Minor quibbles, perhaps, for a half-hour comedy, but queens have gotten the boot from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” for far lesser offenses. That being said, “Looking” does get a few things right; namely, its honest depiction of the difficulties we have when it comes to finding our internal, moral, and sexual compasses as we make our way into adulthood.

All of us—homo and hetero alike—grow up under the influence of what society and our parents tell us, from the kind of sex we should have to the kind of relationships we should work toward. But for many gay men and women,...

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RobHeartsDH
January 21, 2014
Category: Sexuality

Maybe it's the winter or grayness the season has cast, but I can't help but fantasize more during dreary weather times. Even my dreams seem to be counteracting the bundling up that these more frequent Polar Vortex's have caused with highly sexualized and fantastical night visions. Whether it's about people I know or celebrities and public figures, my dreams have been on fire lately, causing me to have lingering feelings for this special dream guest for more than just a night. Not to mention the horniness that comes (and stays) with it. So that's why I'm turning to you all to put your fantasies on display in the comments below. They can be anything from an exceptional dream (be it new or recurring), a sexual adventure you're looking to fulfill this year, or even some sort of FanFic pairing that you'd like to see played out on screen. For those of you not familiar with FanFic, it stands for Fan Fiction and it's when a viewer of a movie or TV show writes their own storyline of an already existing property and pairs two characters together. A good example would be Sherlock and Holmes, while not a sexual relationship in most portrayals, in FanFic the two would get hot and heavy and be in a gay relationship. Make sense?

Think of this open post as a fantasy free for all to express anything and everything you want. Who knows, it may catch a Daddy/Hunter's eye and turn fantasy into reality.