Daddyhunt Blog Posts from September 2010

September 29, 2010
Category: Relationships

I'm laying in bed with my little black pug curled up against me. He's big on cuddling, just like his daddy. But on this particular night, while he's satisfied nestling in between my calf and thigh, I'm longing for something a bit more intimate and a bit more human.

This year, I took a trip with a guy I dated last summer to visit some college friends and attend a wedding. And while it was clear that we were both just friends before our long weekend began, things got complicated as the vacation progressed (don't they always). You see, we ended up sharing a bed which at first glance shouldn't have been problematic, sharing a bed with a friend isn't hard to do. The problem arose though when upon getting into bed that night he grabbed me and got with the cuddling. As noted earlier, I love a good cuddle. There's something about being wrapped in someone's arms (and vice versa) that feels so natural and safe and soothing. Cuddling can get tricky though, because on the one hand it's an innocent practice, but there's also an intimacy to the act that many overlook.

We continued cuddling for the remainder of the trip each night. I'd be lying if I said old feelings didn't make their way to the surface on both of our parts, as cuddling turned into hand holding in front of friends - for the record: also initiated by him. On the last night I asked for a cuddle and a kiss. And as we lay their wrapped in each other's arm, he replied to the kiss query with, "are you sure that's a good idea?" To which I responded incredulously, "do you think THIS is a good idea?" referring...

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September 28, 2010
Category: Health
gay men's hiv awareness day

If being a part of a community where 1 in 5 gay men are HIV positive wasn't alarming enough, how about the fact that nearly 50% don't know it? It may be a day late, but recognizing yesterday's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day is still post-worthy, especially when you hear stats like those from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

As gay men we're reminded all the time about the importance of knowing your status, getting tested, and to always be safe and use condoms, but with most messages repeated over and over again, it's easy to let them fade into the background. That's why it's imperative that we take the time a few times a year to push the message through and make it a priority. Even though some may consider a day of awareness less potent than other HIV/AIDS-related messaging, just having the reminder there can do wonders and get people to make an appointment to get their testing on.

Mine's this week, when's yours?

RP Andrews
September 25, 2010
Category: Sexuality

Even though we live in an era where homosexuality is openly discussed and increasingly tolerated if not totally accepted, those of us who are gay still feel we maintain a unique membership in a very select band of brothers. It doesn’t matter if we’re a mature 25 or young-at-heart 65; whether we live in an urban gay ghetto or a small town where our nearest neighbor is ten miles away; whether we consider ourselves God’s gift to gaydom and making it with guys three or four times a week, or just “average” (whatever the hell that means), content with a few friends, an occasional tryst, or just some good old, hard core porn.

But are we all that really different from our heterosexual counterparts?

Growing up, some us may have been the target of bullying or worst because of our sexuality, but aren’t kids harangued – or worst - for being too short, or too fat, or unathletic or nerdy in American jock society? I teach college and I’m endlessly amazed how many smart straight guys will hide their intelligence because they consider it “unmanly.”

When we’re young, don’t some of us focus on career building because we don’t have a wife and kids to worry about, while there are those of us who don’t really care what we do for a living as long as we can pay our bills and party? But are we are all that different from a straight Harvard grad or urban playboy?

Don’t some of us, despite our sexual leanings, consider marriage – to a woman - because we want children, feel it’s the right thing to do, or because of family or peer pressures? Even if we later regret it?...

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September 24, 2010
Category: Relationships

Now that Fall is up and officially running, it reminds me of how many amazing date possibilities exists after summer. From hayrides to pumpkin patches, it seems like things tend to slow down in the fall and relationships start to get serious. Summers tend to be an overload of fun - in a great way for the most part, but sometimes things are just too busy for anything to really solidify. That’s why the juxtaposition of Summer mentality versus Fall is actually quite optimal.

I know a good destination-less walk ending with a long chat on a park bench under the fall foliage is a favorite Fall date of mine, but I want to know: what are your favorite season specific dates? Let’s get some good ones out in the open so the rest of can be inspired (and occasionally steal some great ideas).

gay bears

Duke Greenhill
September 23, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

There's an old Chinese proverb that for some reason always stuck with me: "When eating bamboo shoots, remember the man who planted them." My grandmother, neither Chinese nor proverbial, had her own version: "You've got 86,400 perfectly good seconds today. Take one to say thank you." I'm sharing these with you because a recent series of seemingly banal events in my life, when experienced together, have made me afraid. I'm afraid that we as gay men are relying too much on anger, and not enough on gratitude, to fuel our cause.

About a week ago, I was walking home down 9th Avenue here in NYC, and I saw a bus-stop-poster advertising "My Generation" (which I assume is a TV show). The tag-line read, "I'm tired of paying for your mistakes, Dad." A few days later, my firm (in the interest of disclosure, I own a boutique advertising/PR shop) took a pro bono account for In The Life Media's 13th Season Premiere honoring one of New York's most prolific gay philanthropists, Henry van Ameringen. The fact that the poster was for a TV show and leveraging anger, and "IN THE LIFE" is the longest running (and original) LGBT documentary series leveraging gratitude, made them click.

As I began exploring the account, I discovered that van Ameringen had funded so many New York-based LGBT charities for many, many years. I couldn't think of a single person I knew whose life hadn't somehow been improved by him -- mine included. I was dumbfounded, and ashamed. Ashamed that I had never even heard of van Ameringen before, and ashamed that the discovery made me realize how...

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September 22, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

“The hardest thing to do in this world, is to live in it.” - Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer

Yes, the quote from above comes from a fictionalized television superheroine, but that doesn’t make it any less potent in our very real, very vampire-less existence. I remember clinging to these word when I was facing my own demons on a battlefield we gays are all too familiar with. High school.

Today, I’m thankful for sexpert and columnist Dan Savage for starting a YouTube channel called “It Gets Better” to show all the gay youths out there, that there is life after high school, that it does in fact get better. Dan and his husband started the channel and are asking for “submissions from other gay and lesbian adults—singles and couples, with kids or without, established in careers or just starting out, urban and rural, of all races and religious backgrounds,” so that teen suicides, like Billy Lucas who recently killed himself after being picked on by his classmates for being gay, don’t happen. You can find instructions for submitting your video at

I remember so many days during my adolescents (and this includes the worst years, middle school) feeling so utterly hopeless. Coming to terms with the realization that I was gay was hard enough, but seeing a future? At the time it seemed impossible.

I would stare at my twelve year old reflection from the three paneled mirror in...

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September 21, 2010
Category: Eye Candy

With the passing of another New York Fashion week, and the literal passing of many a hot model on the streets, my brain is just starting to digest all the new trends to come. But what struck me most this year, is how the simplest pieces of clothing and accessories tend to turn me on the most. Take my recent obsession with dark framed glasses. If I see a man in these Buddy Holly-esque frames, it’s an instant head turn for me (throw in some facial hair and you’ve got yourself a sealed deal). There’s not much to them, and they’ve been around for half a century, but lately they’re doing wonders for making some men instantly appealing. Maybe it’s the lingering geek association or the perceived wisdom that comes with them. Perhaps it’s the hope of hopes that the man behind them could be an intellectual capable of deeper thinking and higher learning. Whatever it is, they’re working for me in a big way this year.

It doesn’t take the latest looks from Milan or Paris to get my catwalk up and running; a Daddy in the classic jeans and t-shirt look is usually about all it takes to get my sexy meter at full tilt. I guess when it comes down to it, comfort and the way someone wears a look is worth a lot more in the end then that $700 sweater from Barneys. If you’re most relaxed in a pair of sweats and a torn up T, then that may be the sexiest of all.

Of course, naked is fun and underwear is a whole other post unto itself, but leaving even just one piece of clothing on - whether it be a tie, tube socks, or even your pants can sometimes make things even hotter then...

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September 20, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

Look's like the attempt to break the Guinness World Record for the longest kiss was successful. Better yet, it was a couple of gay guys who did it. Matty and Bobby, two gay friends, decided that they wanted to "queer up the Guinness World Records" with a record-breaking 33 hour long kiss. Talk about a stiff upper lip!

Men Break Guinness Kiss Record

gay personals

September 18, 2010
Category: Relationships

Why is it that so many Hunters think if they haven't found 'the one' by age 25, they are doomed to spinsterhood? I've never understood that.

Sure, our culture glorifies youth, but how many 25 year olds are really ready to have, mature enough to have, and stable enough to have a 'real', lasting, long term relationship? While chatting online, younger guys often tell me, sometimes very hot, younger guys mind you, that nobody will ever want to date them, that they'll never be loved, etc. This thinking is just plain wrong. Having that kind of attitude is going to seriously impact your appeal. If you become one of those cynical, bitchy, defensive guys, so negative to be around or so desperate for a relationship that the 'stink' of it radiates from you, nobody will ever want you. Or, you'll end up in a relationship that is unhealthy, dating an older guy, any OLDER guy, just because he is the only one who expresses interest.

Too many of us are in love with the idea of being 'in love', without really knowing what it means and what it takes to create and maintain a relationship. Personally, and remember, this is coming from a guy who dates younger guys exclusively, many just aren't yet 'ripe' for a serious relationship until they reach their late 20's or early 30's. They may still be in college or they haven’t found the right career or they may not even live in the place where they’d like to settle.

Sure there are exceptions and sure, some guys are more mature for their age than others. But really, most guys in that age range just aren't in a place in their...

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September 17, 2010
Category: Gay Culture

Every Friday we’ll be featuring a great destination for daddies. Whether it’s a vacation spot halfway across the world or a new party popping up in a neighborhood near you. Unfortunately, we can’t be everywhere at once. That’s why we’re counting on our amazing members to help steer us in the right direction. You can submit your destinations to with the subject line “Nightlife” and we’ll help keep the daddy/hunter masses in the know.