Gay Daddy & Bear Blog: Age Appropriate

Frank Strona
November 11, 2008
Category: Dating

Having used the internet as a way to meet new friends and sex partners for well over 10 years, every so often I have to step back and wonder… is it worth the amount of time it eats up?

But to answer that – I have to do some serious thinking about my role and my understanding of “needs” and “wants.”

One of the first questions I routinely ask myself when I log-in is “why?” Why am I online and what am I looking for? Is it about the search for love, friendship, understanding? Or more base level and seedy, talking about doing some young stud in the alley?

Don’t get me wrong, all of these are viable things to be using the internet for – the secret is to understand what it is that I want in those moments.  It’s that age-old battle in our search for the magical balance between momentary “lust” and lasting “warm fuzzies.”

Of course, when I’m not getting the hits I want or the kind of responses I expect, I have a few tricks that focus me back to the present.

First, I start off with a reality wake-up call. How honest am I being? Is what I’m writing matching who I am in the moment? Are my pictures and profiles updated? We all get stuck with the one picture we want to use over the more recent, but less flattering ones we have. I re-read my profile. When I read my words, are they reflecting the desires of who I am still? We change daily and so do our wants and needs.

So then I need to look at my “me, me, me place”. We all go...

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Walter Smith
November 10, 2008
Category: Entertainment

In the mid-1970s there were no gay divisions at publishing houses and no “gay lit” courses taught at colleges and Universities. But mention the name of Christopher Isherwood to those who were around then and chances are you’ll hear what a brilliant writer -- and what an inspiring example -- he was. This was the man who had written “Berlin Stories”, on which the musical “Cabaret” was based, as well as many other novels, plays, and screenplays. In the final paragraph of his 1976 memoir, “Christopher and His Kind,” which covers his experiences from 1929 through 1939, Isherwood writes that he would eventually find “the ideal companion to whom you can reveal yourself totally and yet be loved for what you are, not what you pretend to be.”

That companion, for Isherwood, was Don Bachardy, and their 33-year relationship ended only with Isherwood’s death in 1985. The two met on the beach at Santa Monica in 1953, when Isherwood was 48 and Bachardy only 18. They were the first -- and for many years the only -- openly gay couple among the Hollywood elite. In the years...

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Chris Turner
September 29, 2008
Category: Site News

The following article was originally published in the San Francisco Chronicle. After taking out some bus shelter ads for DaddyHunt, Justin Berton contacted me about doing a feature story on the site. The article was in the style section of the Chronicle on Sunday, June 17, 2007. I was more than a little thrilled at the interview request and the chance to hold forth on my philosophy about the attractiveness of older men.

Five Questions for Christopher Turner

by Justin Berton

Shortly after Christopher Turner started his Web site hotoldermale.com in 2002, a hot older male approached him while walking on 18th Street in the Castro district. The man said he recognized Turner from his online profile; he'd even printed out a photograph of the Internet entrepreneur. "Apparently he didn't post his picture because he was too darn shy about the whole thing," Turner, 35, recalled. The admirer was novelist and screenwriter Armistead Maupin, Turner's senior by 27 years. The two got to talking and have been a couple ever since. In February, they married.

Turner started his second site, Daddyhunt.com, a personals service that pairs men older than 40 with younger guys, because he knew there was a market for "intergenerational relationships." (Hotoldermale.com caters to those with more hard-core tastes.) Four years after its founding, the site hosts 100,000 members and draws 35,000 visitors per...

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R. Jackson
September 15, 2008
Category: Gay Culture

My usual tip for friends visiting New Orleans is: Never drink anything named after a natural disaster. Now I would add this friendly bit of advice: The best way to encounter a hurricane … is from a distance.

Evading Hurricane Gustav by a day, the husbear and I arrived back home late Sunday afternoon on Labor Day weekend, returning early from our holiday trip to New Orleans for Southern Decadence 2008.

We were two of nearly two million people evacuated in the Gulf region, and two of several hundred daddies, bears, leathermen, and other homomasculine guys and hunters whose “decadent” plans were dramatically altered by the prospect of a hurricane directly hitting the city — not the kind of blowjob savored by the thousands of queer men partying on Bourbon Street over the long weekend.

Queer or not, NOLA residents and tourists alike were keenly aware that Southern Decadence was cancelled during Hurricane Katrina three years ago.

Major gay/bi men’s events scheduled during the weekend were interrupted, including Bear Decadence, a fundraiser hosted by the New Orleans Bear and Bear Trapper Social Club (NOBBTSC). Fortunately, the parties start Wednesday, and like us, dozens of other butch homos came early enough to enjoy a couple of decadent days before flying out by Sunday 6pm, when the airport would shut down.

We arrived in N’awlins Wednesday afternoon, staying at the charming Frenchmen Hotel, located...

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